What If God Actually Likes You? (Not Just Loves You)

There’s a verse in the Bible that most people skip right over, but it changed everything for me when I really saw it. It’s tucked away in John 16:27, and here’s what it says:

“For the Father himself loves you, because you have loved me and have believed that I came from God.”

Now, you might be thinking, “Okay, cool. God loves me. I’ve heard that a million times.” But here’s what you probably didn’t know: the Greek word used here for “loves” isn’t agape—that unconditional, dutiful, “I-love-you-because-I-have-to” kind of love.

It’s phileo.

Phileo is the word for friendship love. Affectionate love. The kind of love that says, “I actually like hanging out with you.” It’s the love you have for your best friend, the person you call when something good happens, the one whose company you genuinely enjoy.

God doesn’t just love you because He’s God and that’s what He does. He actually LIKES you.

The God Who’s Always Distracted?

Let me ask you something: when you pray, do you picture God sort of half-listening? Like He’s got one ear toward Heaven and the other toward whatever else is going on in the universe? Maybe He’s checking His watch, thinking about the game, wondering when you’ll wrap it up so He can get back to important stuff?

Or worse—do you picture Him annoyed? Arms crossed, jaw tight, barely tolerating you because, well, you messed up again this week and here you are asking for something else?

If we’re honest, a lot of us have this picture of a begrudging God. A God whose love feels obligatory. Like He’s stuck with us because Jesus died and now He’s contractually bound to put up with our prayers, our mistakes, our neediness.

But that is NOT the God of the Bible.

Listen to what Zephaniah 3:17 says: “The LORD your God is with you, the Mighty Warrior who saves. He will take great delight in you; in his love he will no longer rebuke you, but will rejoice over you with singing.”

Read that again. He takes great delight in you. He rejoices over you. He’s literally singing over you. That’s not a God who’s distracted or disconnected. That’s a God who is absolutely captivated by His children.

He’s Not Distracted. He’s Devoted.

God isn’t sitting in Heaven half-present, wishing He could be doing something else. He’s not rolling His eyes when you come to Him for the third time today about the same struggle. He’s not thinking, “Ugh, her again.”

He has dedicated His entire existence to YOU.

Think about that. The Creator of the universe—the One who spoke galaxies into being, who holds every atom together, who knows the number of hairs on your head—has chosen to focus His attention, His affection, His very heart on you.

Psalm 139:17-18 says, “How precious to me are your thoughts, God! How vast is the sum of them! Were I to count them, they would outnumber the grains of sand—when I awake, I am still with you.”

His thoughts toward you outnumber the grains of sand. Let that sink in. You are constantly on His mind—not as a burden, but as His treasure.

He’s not multitasking while you pray. He’s fully engaged. Fully present. Fully delighted that you’re talking to Him.

You know how I know?

Because He Sent His Son to Die

Don’t believe me that you’re a big deal to God? Let me point you to the cross.

God didn’t just love you from a distance. He didn’t send a messenger or an angel or write a nice note. He sent His Son—His only Son—to die a brutal, humiliating, excruciating death so that nothing could ever separate you from Him again.

You don’t do that for someone you’re just tolerating.

You don’t sacrifice everything for someone you’re begrudgingly obligated to deal with. You do that for someone you treasure. Someone you like. Someone you can’t imagine existing without.

Romans 5:8 says, “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”

While we were still sinners. Not after we got our act together. Not after we proved ourselves worthy. Not after we stopped messing up.

While we were still a mess, He gave everything for us.

That’s not obligation. That’s not duty. That’s not begrudging love.

That’s phileo. That’s affection. That’s “I like you so much I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”

Even When We Mess Up, He Delights in Us

Here’s where it gets really good. Let me tell you about a moment in Scripture that absolutely wrecks me every time I read it.

In 1 Samuel 12, the people of Israel had just made a massive mistake. They rejected God as their king and demanded a human king instead. They basically told God, “You’re not enough for us.” Talk about a reason for God to be disappointed, right?

The people realized what they’d done and were terrified. They begged Samuel to pray for them, saying, “Pray to the LORD your God for your servants so that we will not die, for we have added to all our other sins the evil of asking for a king” (1 Samuel 12:19).

Now, if God were the begrudging, disappointed deity we sometimes imagine Him to be, this would’ve been His moment to say, “I told you so. You blew it. I’m done.”

But that’s not what happened.

Listen to what Samuel told them in verse 22: “For the sake of his great name the LORD will not reject his people, because the LORD was pleased to make you his own.”

The LORD was pleased to make you His own.

Even after they messed up. Even after they rejected Him. Even after they added sin upon sin—God was still pleased to call them His.

And then Samuel says this in verse 24: “But be sure to fear the LORD and serve him faithfully with all your heart; consider what great things he has done for you.”

God’s response to their failure wasn’t rejection. It was a reminder of His delight in them and a call back to relationship.

That’s who God is. Even when we mess up, His heart toward us doesn’t change.

Say This Over Yourself

I want you to stop right here and say this out loud:

“He delights in me.”

Not “He tolerates me.” Not “He puts up with me.” Not “He loves me but doesn’t really like me.”

“He delights in me.”

Say it again. Let it settle into the places where shame has been whispering lies.

“He delights in me.”

Zephaniah 3:17. Psalm 139:17-18. 1 Samuel 12:22. These aren’t just nice verses. They’re the truth about who God is and how He feels about you.

He delights in you.

He Actually Enjoys You

I know this might be hard to believe, especially if you’ve grown up in church circles where God felt more like a disapproving principal than a loving Father. But hear me when I say this:

God enjoys your company.

He’s not annoyed by your prayers. He’s not frustrated by your questions. He’s not sighing heavily every time you come to Him with the same struggle.

He LIKES you.

Psalm 147:11 says, “The LORD delights in those who fear him, who put their hope in his unfailing love.”

There’s that word again—delights. Not “tolerates.” Not “endures.” Not “reluctantly accepts.” Delights.

He likes your personality—the one He designed. He likes your quirks, your humor, your passions. He likes the way you think, the way you see the world, the unique perspective only you can bring.

You’re not bothering Him. You’re not too much. You’re not a burden.

You are His beloved child, and He is absolutely crazy about you.

Jeremiah 31:3 puts it this way: “The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: ‘I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with unfailing kindness.'”

Everlasting love. Unfailing kindness. That’s not the language of obligation—that’s the language of affection.

What Changes When You Believe This?

Everything.

When you realize God actually likes you, shame loses its grip. Because shame thrives in the lie that God is disappointed in you, that He’s keeping a record of your failures, that He’s one more mistake away from being done with you.

But when you know—really know—that God is phileo-ing you? That He’s not just loving you out of obligation but actually delighting in you?

You start walking differently. Praying differently. Living differently.

You stop performing for His approval because you already have it.

You stop hiding your struggles because you know He’s not going to reject you.

You stop living in fear of messing up because you understand that His love isn’t based on your performance.

And you start stepping into the purpose He created you for—because when you know you’re loved AND liked, you’re free to become who He made you to be.

You’re a Pretty Big Deal to God

I don’t care what shame has told you. I don’t care what condemnation has whispered in your ear. I don’t care what religion has made you believe about a distant, disappointed God.

You are a BIG deal to God.

He didn’t die for you because He had to. He died for you because He wanted to. Because He couldn’t imagine eternity without you. Because you—yes, YOU—are worth everything to Him.

So the next time you pray, don’t picture a God who’s distracted, annoyed, or begrudgingly listening.

Picture a Father who leans in. Who smiles. Who says, “I’m so glad you’re here. I’ve been waiting to talk to you.”

Because that’s who He is.

And that’s how He feels about you.